Mummy at 22.

Whilst I don't really like to talk about my private life on my blogs,

except for some issues,

I really wanted to write this blog post.

I'm 22. I got pregnant at 21,

I now have a daughter at 22 years old.

She's almost 5 months already,

and her name is Aicha.

And here's all I have to say about it.

Aicha came across as a surprise

(I hate the phrase 'unplanned pregnancy', you see).

I (now regretfully) cried when we found out.

I freaked out because I felt I was not ready to raise a human being.

I had plans to continue my studies (I have a B.Comm with English)

and was working as an English teacher for foreign students for a few months.

And I wanted a full time job.  

 But I didn't quite care about my plans, I swear.

They're just plans.

I just didn't know if I was ready to have a baby.

But I was going to.

I was pregnant.

So we made plans.

WE (me and my boyfriend - because no, we're not married)

love each other A LOT.

We know we want to be with each other.

Not because we were going to have a baby, no.

We knew long before then.

I am what you can call - a single parent,

 because I'm not married.

So technically I fall under that statistic.

I don't feel alone, or 'single'.

Because I'm not.

I am a happy mother of a 5 month old

in a happy relationship.

My daughter is healthy,

and she makes my day every time I hear her crackle a laugh.

and even though she came across a surprise,

I wouldn't have it any other way.

I used to watch people who have had unplanned pregnancies

saying if they had a choice and go back,

they would do things exactly the same

because they can't imagine their life without their son or their daughter.

Back then,

I thought they just said it

because they didn't feel like they had a choice.

But honestly,

I feel that same way, too.

If I were to postpone the pregnancy,

I probably wouldn't have the Aicha I know now,

she'd probably be different,

she might even be a boy.

And I love my daughter, as she is.

And the thought of not having her in my life

scares me.

Screw my previous plans!

Because now, I have even more beautiful plans,

one that includes my daughter in them.

 I want to embrace and enjoy every stage of her growing up.

I want her to be there when something nice happens to me.

I want to share it with her, with my boyfriend,

because they mean the world to me.

And without her as she is,

I don't know what it would be like to be me.

Dyna

xxx